This year my resolution will be easy. I resolve not to have a New Year’s Resolution. As all of you New Yearsian Revolutionists stand aghast at the idea of not making a formal statement of intention to change at least one thing about yourselves, I say not so fast.
If you have made resolutions in the past then it is likely you have also failed to complete or even begin the tasks that would lead to successful completion of the steps necessary to reach a point where the resolution is turned into action. If you think that statement is muddy, so is this New Year’s ideal that so many blindly subscribe to. In fact only about 8 percent of these resolutions are kept, and some new surveys suggest the number increases to 18 percent if the person writes down the resolution . So roughly 80 percent of us are attached to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis (screwed). Thanks to the Big Bang Theory writers for that one.
The year of 2012, incidentally the year of the Dragon (my sign in the Chinese Zodiac), will be my year. And I shall combat the failure of resolutions by skipping that step. What will happen this year is not an intention and not a formal expression of an opinion. I will be the person that has always been there, hidden by many years of placating and agreeing for the purpose of eliminating confrontation in the hopes that those around me will remain at peace or some semblance of that state. My tendency to not be these things pokes its head out sporadically and becomes misunderstood when taken in the context of my perceived usual nature. There are times when action is needed and the moment to act cannot be left for others to embrace. It is those times when I feel that I have accomplished the necessary and feel a bit more freedom in showing my true self.
So here is who I am not: I am not overweight. This is a temporary state that requires action that has been sidelined by too many excuses. I’ve lost it before and I will again. I do not smile this much. It makes my face hurt. I am not just a social worker. I am a writer. I have stories to tell both fiction and non and it is time they are written. I enjoy physics and gaining knowledge on every subject I can think of. I can tell you how the Large Hadron Collider works and what it is currently being used for, I can tell you why strengths based practice in social work is best most of the time but not always and I can tell you the kind of tree Buddha sat under when he reached enlightenment. I am not that kind of social worker. This means I am still a social worker but I have to be honest with myself, my coworkers and my clients. I will help you help yourself, but I will not do it for you. I will not work harder than you to get your life back in order. I will protect your children should they need it and I will guide your juveniles in the hopes they can turn things around before it’s too late. I will not hug you and I will not sacrifice my principles, my values, my ethics or my license to cut you a break. I am not religious. This will be addressed in greater detail in a separate piece. I am spiritual but I do not subscribe to the institutionalization of that spiritualism for a god who takes attendance and appears to be okay with populations around the world killing and maiming, looting and plundering, all in the name of furthering “his” word. I am a humanist. I believe in the nature of human beings to be good and kind and moral to one another without the need for the looming presence of a higher power that may just smite them should they take a wrong turn. Mistakes are human nature, and I believe to be human is to rectify those errors once made. There is no such thing as altruism in the face of a god as chief motivator. I am not a complete loner. I love my family, my wife and son and that will become more clear as time goes on because I realize what I feel on the inside needs to be worn on the outside more often. I am not misogynistic. I will not tolerate those who are. This will be a difficult one in particular as I have listened to the rants of others under the guise that they are expressing an opinion and have not countered. Prepare for the counter. Speech is free until you unleash your opinions on me. The price then becomes an opposing view point, very likely more factually based than yours. I am not modest. I have been called elitist and I think that may be confused with overt tendencies toward intellectualism, finer things in moderation and the expression of such. I am not indirect. I am direct. I talk about things the way they are.
So in this new year I have a job to do. My job is to remove the veil of the things I am not so the person I am is present and accounted for at all times. Some may not like the change. It may go against the nonconfrontational, meek, submissive sensibilities all too present in American society. We have a duty to be honest with ourselves and those we choose to spend our time with. So look at the list of the things I am not and you will see the person I am, and the person I have always been. You will certainly see it this year.
I hope your resolutions work out.